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[icon] getting my crazy out.... - vomi_en_mots
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Subject:getting my crazy out....
Time:01:13 pm
I am all breeds of crazy,
and when I write
I translate my crazy
through my pen
on to paper
to try to escape myself.
To try to help is escape me.

I am all kinds of crazy. Peace is never an internal reality, and I am destined to be postcolonial for eternity. I’m not post ethnic, you see, because my brown skin and nappy hair labels my body, just as my affinity towards women stamps me as queer, the labels affixed to my body would only tear off bits of my brown skin as they are torn off. Less brown, better assimilated, I wouldn’t be me.

Assimilation daunts overhead, as I, part normative, part deviant, hack out my own life path, I fear validating people’s negative perceptions of my own identity. I’m confused, but fear communicating my confusion out of fear of being marked “tragic.” Tragedy, like so much else, looms overhead threatening my future, bringing out my crazy.
All kinds of crazy, yo.


Aunt Jemimah and Scarlett O’Hara, where do I come from?
Caged away from ancestrial pride
I’ve been raised with no race pride,
I understand my foremothers
Were the products of rapes
Bred to be light skinned,
House slaves,
House bitches
Bred to be house whores,
To be used as the massa pleased
pleases
I was not taught self-love
I’ve had to develop it myself.
Failing often,
I need to remind myself of the basics
I’m worthy
I’m a good spirit
I’m attractive
not a whore
not a bitch
nor a slave to anyone.
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